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Love and Truer Healing by Ronnie Figueroa

I believe we are born with an innate ability and desire to love and be loved. There has been much research, as well as personal accounts that have suggested this to be true. However, how do we determine if our love is genuine and balanced? It happens as we connect more genuinely to our truer selves and it manifests itself as caring, giving, forgiveness, true grief, maintaining presence and more.

Some might be saying, “How do we know if it’s real, and how do we maintain it?” As we practice Awareness/Focus/Presence, other aspects of life become clearer and things seem to work themselves out without too much of our selfishly motivated ego interference. We all have and need an ego. It is necessary for survival. It is what I call the ‘selfish ego’ that gets in the way. That part of us is the manipulating part that causes us to look outside of ourselves instead of finding our truths from within. The selfish ego can be cunning and manipulative and may manifest itself in such ways as to tell us we are right and they are wrong or they do not have the better way but we do. We also sometimes use the selfish ego to protect ourselves from being emotionally or physical harmed. These unconsciously motivated actions can become our conditioned realities that we follow to protect ourselves. However, by doing so we are rejecting others ideas and instead continuing to hide what we are truly feel inside in order to maintain our safety.

So how do we know if it’s our more balanced selves or the selfish ego that is leading us? One way is to notice if we become selfishly angry, or begin to negatively judge others or become frustrated because we aren’t getting our points across. As we consistently practice awareness and use self-exploration tools, healing becomes more of a natural process. It is important to be aware that no one is perfect and we all will make mistakes. We still must continue to take the risks and trust our inner voices more and more. This will lead to making fewer mistakes and having more positive manifestations in our lives and we will be in a more constant state of truer peace and joy and love. It is about taking responsibility for all of your angers and fears and responding within this place of spacious awareness as best you can.

Ronnie Figueroa, M.A. in Psychology with and emphasis in community and counseling psychology from Marist College, is a licensed mental health counselor. He has over 40 years of experience holistically healing himself and helping others. To schedule an appointment, contact 949-205-8357 or visit

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